rabbit appeal ...

The rabbit was hopping down High Holborn this lunchtime after returning from a visit to the Big House aka Her Majesty's Prison Feltham when he spotted the above young lady with her billboard. Just in case it's not clear to all from the pic it reads:

ARE YOU LOOKING
FOR A MOTIVATED

AMBITIOUS, TALENTED

LEGALLY TRAINED

EMPLOYEE?
APPLY HERE TODAY

It struck me that for a qualified lawyer (her name is Annie and she is an Australian qualified lawyer who spent a number of years in the New South Wales Attorney-General's Office) to be standing in the street with a billboard looking for work is (a) a sign of the times (b) a sign of optimism and (c) shows guts.

Soooooo .... A rabbit appeal is in order. Any lawyer reading this and needing a  paralegal should get in touch with Annie at e-mail annie_sobby@live.com.au - she said it was okay for me to put her e-mail addy up here. Or contact the rabbit via e-mail addy on my profile page. I have a cv for her that can be scanned and e-mailed. Like all sensible people she is presently based in Croydon. And no, I have never met her before and do not expect to meet her again. I'll see if the great and good Charon QC  can do a link to this appeal as I somehow suspect that he has more lawyer readers than the rabbit.

Some readers may be wondering how the smallest rabbit is getting on. Even if they aren't I confess I can't help it. Well at 13 weeks last Friday, he's getting his sleep as can be seen.

George Formby mostly ...

After spending ear earlier part of the week running up and down the country, the rabbit was pleased to slump in front of the television last night. On BBC4 he saw comedian Frank Skinner, a rabbit favourite, present a documentary of George Formby.

I suspect George Formby (1904 - 1961) is a mystery to overseas readers, but he is hardwired into the folk memory of British popular culture. He was a comedian in the tradition of Lancashire music hall comedians and a singer songwriter. His unique selling point accompanying himself on his banjo ukelele. It's difficult to get a grip on just how big he was in the 1930s and 1940s but he was mega - with earnings to match. One random fact the rabbit didn't know until researching this piece was that Formby was born blind due to an obstructive caul; his sight was restored during a violent coughing fit or sneeze when he was a few months old.

Hi songs are now real period pieces, little pieces of insight into a bygone world but they are very funny. The song above is the complaint of nerds and geeks the world over: Why Don't Women Like Me? Our man warms to his theme...

Last night I went out walking, my intentions were to click

But the sights I saw while walking out, they nearly made me sick.


I must admit I saw some girls, attractive little dears


Arm in arm with ugly men with cauliflower ears.


Now if women like them like men like those - why don’t women like me?


A mystery I'm sure all will agree. His songs are loaded with innuendos. In fact you end up with innuendo overload and everything becomes an innuendo, rather like Viz magazine's Finbarr Saunders - surreally I note that someone who is really called Finbarr Saunders is running for Knoxville City Council. I must drop him a  line and ask if he is related. Here are a  couple of frames from the Finbarr Saunders strip. For the record, the word between 'to' and 'it' in the speech bubble in the right hand flame is 'flick'. Tsk!

No, I don't know what he's really talking about either. Now back to George Formby. He and his wife Beryl became unlikely anti apartheid heroes.  In 1946 Beryl and George toured South Africa shortly before formal racial apartheid was instigated. They ended up refusing to play racially segregated venues (when they arrived Formby - who was barely literate - didn't know what segregated meant but soon found out and didn't like what he found out). Beryl was presented with a bunch of flowers onstage by a little black girl and - thinking nothing of it - gave her a kiss. The result was uproar and the Formbys being escorted out of the theatre under armed guard.

The leader of the National Party, Daniel Malan - who was shortly to introduce apartheid - came to complain. Beryl slapped him in the face and unburdened herself of the immortal line:

'Why don't you piss off you horrible little man?'

Nice one Beryl.

Let us end with our man's Blackpool Rock - enough innuendos to make Finbarr Saunders (either one) blush...

With my little stick of Blackpool Rock, along the promenade I stroll.

It may be sticky but I never complain, it's nice to have a nibble at it now and again



Erm ... Quite so.

Lord Bonkers - beyond satire

'The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which' as Orwell had it in Animal Farm. It occurs that the rabbit mentions Orwell quite a lot. This is a sign of approval, but I digress. The line came to mind on viewing - with Hat Tip to Charon QC - the above clip of some naughty Australian satirist taking the - erm - rise out of a person named Lord Monckton, a man so bizarre that it is hard to tell who is the satirist and who is the satirised.


There are a number of things to note about Lord Monckton.

Firstly, yes - he does look like that.Secondly, Lord Monckton is a prominent member of UKIP. For the benefit of overseas readers, UKIP - the United Kingdom Independence Party - is a particular rabbit aversion made up as it is of petty nationalists, xenophobes, saloon bar bores, all manner of obsessives and - how does one put this delicately? - self pleasurers.

Now our man has a number of odd claims to 'fame'. One is that he is the only person in the entire history of everything to have copped a 'cease and desist' type edict from the House of lords telling him to stiop claiming that he is - or ever has been - a member of the House of Lords. Yes, he's a 'Lord' but...

Oh never mind.

Well if you insist... Monckton is a hereditary peer and is of the opinion that 'the House of Lords Act 1999, which purported to exclude hereditary peers from membership of the House of Lords, is defective'.

So that would explain it. He has also been told to stop using the House of Lords logo (left) so our man uses the logos centre and right instead. Isn't there some concept of 'passing off'?

Even weirder, his UKIP profile (he is head of Scottish UKIP and of policy development, which is nice) lists among his achievements '2008 Inventor, cure for Graves’ Disease (100,000 UK sufferers) and other chronic infections'. Graves' Disease is - it transpires - an auto immune disorder that leads to overactivity of the thyroid gland. The catch is - he has not invented a cure for Graves' Disease - only he - and apparently UKIP - believe he has done any such thing. There is no cure for Graves' Disease.

Oh and the rabbit was amused to notice among his lordship's interests as per his UKIP profile was...

'Wife'

Which is nice. What a pleasant relief after all this weirdness to see that Christine O'Donnell has written again. Now what tendresses may pass through cyberspace between the rabbit and Christine is nobody else's business but I'm sure I betray no confidences if I quote selectively..
'Dear Andrew,

While running errands at my local Target Friday night I was unexpectedly contacted by ABC News asking me about my personal political contributions in the 2012 GOP Presidential Primary. This seemed to cause a bit of a stir, so I am writing to you directly to share my thoughts on the upcoming 2012 elections...'

Very thoughtful I'm sure but what exactly is Christine's local Target? Must be an American thing...

'I contributed to Gov. Romney, Herman Cain and I plan to personally contribute to Sen. Santorum and Speaker Gingrich. Let me clarify that these contributions are from me personally, not my campaign or PAC'.

So there we have it. Christine has contributed to the Mormon one and the bloke with the pizzas or burgers or whatever it is. I'm a bit surprised at Christine spreading her largesse so widely as she invariably seems hard up and keeps asking the rabbit for money. I can only conclude that the candidates so favoured by Christine must have a sound line on - erm - UKIP's favourite activity, something that Christine takes a dim view of. Below is Christine taking a dim view of... Oh never mind.

Ending where we began, with Orwell and Animal Farm, it is not as widely known as perhaps it ought to be that in one of his most disgraceful moments, rabbit fave poet T.S.Eliot as director af Faber & faber (publishers) rejected Animal Farm. In a letter from 1944 explaining why he would not be publishing the work, Eliot told Orwell that he was not persuaded by the 'Trotskyite' politics which underpin the narrative. To publish such an anti-Russian novel would jar in the contemporary political climate, explained the poet.

Eliot had been leant on by the men from the ministry. There was a war on and Marshal Stalin was our friend. The fact that he was a yellow eyed mass murdering psychopath was not to be the subject of satire in the public prints. 'We have no conviction ... that this is the right point of view from which to criticise the political situation at the present time. It is certainly the duty of any publishing firm which pretends to other interests and motives other than mere commercial prosperity to publish books which go against the current of the moment' wrote Eliot.

There's a 'but' coming, isn't there?

 Eliot then goes on to say that he was not convinced that 'this is the thing that needs saying at the moment'.

Shameful capitulation.

a nip to the air..

There was, I reflected as I made my way to the train station this morning, a nip to the air. The brief Indian summer is firmly over and the weather is distinctly autumnal. The phrase 'a nip to the air' comes from the Grateful Dead's Scarlet Begonias from Grateful Dead From The Mars Hotel - one of the best album covers ever (see below). This posting became inevitable in a matter of several seconds. Here - thanks to David Dodd's good works - are the annotated lyrics with theories - they are theories rather than explanations - of 'too pat to open and too cool to bluff' and the rabbit favourite 'the sky was yellow and the sun was blue'. The song is Robert Hunter's hommage to England. He's hugely under-recognised as a rock lyricist and up there with the best in the rabbit's opinion. By all accounts, he's a top bloke as well. A story to illustrate...

One problem writers have when they want to quote lyrics is copyright. I wanted to use a fragment of lyric from The Wailers' Duppy Conqueror in twentytwelve (yes that's a blatant plug - go buy!). I eventually tracked down whoever it was who dealt with copyright issues for the estate of Bob Marley. It would take some months to get a permission and there would be a fee I was told. I believe there is some scope for using fragmentary quotes (what's the answer Peter?) but decided life was too short to work out exactly what I might get away with so did a quick rewrite to have the relevant character humming the song instead.

Anyway, someone wanted to use a Robert Hunter lyric in his literary endeavour some time ago. Anxious not to blot his copybook and - well - anxious generally he tracked down Hunter and asked permission to use his lyric. Hunter's response was immediate and to the point - 'use what you like'.

Top man or what?



And with Hat Tip to JoJo, so that's what it's about! I went to an all male English equivalent of High School and I am so not interested...

spooky huh?

After the rabbit's invention of Tea Partyer Hiram J Whackjob last week, he was startled to see in Steve Bell's If cartoon strip that Hiram appears to have a relative, namely Humbert Whackjob. It will further be noticed that Humbert is an elephant. This is even spookier as the symbol of the Republican Party, of which the Tea Party is the provisional wing, is an elephant. Spooky huh?

It occurs to me that the cartoon may be mystifying to overseas readers, by way of explanation,  a very boring man called Liam Fox was Defence Secretary until he had to resign the other day due to his connection with a man called Adam Werrity who described himself as Fox's adviser despite having no official standing. There is an odour of special interests, lobbying and even a whiff of money changing hands although there is no evidence that any landed in Fox's hands. I suppose I had to make that last statement in case he wants to sue me. Actually I don't care if he does. I could do with a laugh.

rabbit as photojournalist...

The rabbit was hopping around central London on Saturday, mostly for lunch with two of the nearest and dearest at the Wine Wharf where after discussion on Shelley, Byron and Coleridge (pretentious? nous?) one of our number claimed that there were no good writers with right wing politics. The other two, including the rabbit, exclaimed with one voice...

Evelyn Waugh!

Orwell said something to the effect that Waugh wrote about as well as it is possible for a human being to write but had some insupportable opinions (I can't find the exact quote - even with the help of Mr Google). Uh Huh. And before anyone says 'Ayn Rand' I confess ... I dutifully bought Atlas Shrugged. I accept that she has a very good prose style. I put it down after a few chapters. That was several weeks ago. I shall attempt to pick it up again but confess that it was not doing it for me on any level beyond thinking ' nice sentence' from time to time.

Coming out of the Wine Wharf having compared French and New Zealand Pinot Noir to his satisfaction the rabbit encountered a troupe of Morris dancers in Borough Market (see pic). Someone said you should try everything once except incest and morris dancing. Obviously no-one told the characters above.

The rabbit then hopped off across London Bridge in the general direction of his London office (yes - on a Saturday - very sad) and on approaching St Paul's Cathedral what should he enounter? Yes, the Occupy the London Stock Exchange event. Out came the rabbit phonecam. This is the eastern police line with the cathedral in the background.

Inevitably the visual media were in attendance complete with coralled off area.

Here we have the protestors on the steps of the cathedral. They had been prevented from occupying the Stock Exchange (private property etc). The police took their positions on the top of the steps to 'protect' the cathedral and move the protesters on. What happened then is rather funny - and like the rest of events so far - very English. The Dean of St Paul's Giles Fraser (who the rabbit has met and rather liked - he says 'fuck' a lot for a clergyman) thanked the police for their interest in the cathedral's 'protection' but declared the cathedral not in need of the same and asked them politely to get off the steps, which they had no option other than to do. He then told the protesters that he didn't mind at all if they stayed but warned them the bells were very noisy if they were planning anything other than an early morning. And there they remain complete with a field kitchen, portable toilets and a media area streaming the protest to wherever. Oh and a sign telling all and sundry not to litter.So far it is all very English and understated unlike the event in Rome on the same day, which turned into a riot. The rabbit was amused as he left the scene to see a tourist bus gingerly executing a three point turn on finding its route blocked.

Just because you're paranoid...

After yesterday's message from Mr Damian Omen, the Tea Party disappoints today with a message from their friends from Americans for Prosperity - the message is 'tell Washington to cut spending' not 'get down in your cellars and prepare for armageddon'. Very dull, I have to say. C'mon, shape up Tea Partyers!!!

So the paranoia baton has fortunately been picked up elsewhere as revealed by Tony in his most excellent blog.  Here is a list of 'must have' items for the paranoic who likes to keep up with the Joneses - I'm not sure quite which is my favourite - probably The Evacuchut, but if I were a woman I'd love scaring the crap out of every man in a 200 mile radius with the Rapex Rapist Dick Destroyer. Every home should have one...

And today's music? Well it's a no brainer really.
 


Oh and also following from yesterday's posting here is the New Riders of the Purple Sage's version of Long Black Veil. Johnny Cash and Dylan also recorded it among others but I think this version by their very stonednesses is my fave.



What's more and with Hat Tip to Laci the Dog, here is The Framley Examiner a spoof online version of a local newspaper which induced giggling fits verging on mild hysteria in the rabbit's case (follow the link - don't risk a ruptured eyeball trying to read the sample page below). Okay, if I had to nominate one favourite it would be the small ads page which literally had me in tears of laughter. 40 gallon drum of owls??? Enjoy!

return of the rabbit...

The long drugs importation case has concluded (let's just say we came second) and normal rabbiting on will now be resumed. But first, I must have a word with my friend Christine O'Donnell. It's always nice to hear from Christine and she writes regularly - which is sweet - though she always seems hard up as she invariably ends up asking for money. Having said this, she naughtily seems to have passed on my e-mail address to her friends in the Tea Party.

Christine's Tea Party friends have been filling the rabbit's inbox of late with the most unutterable balls. Okay, they utter it but it's still balls. They don't seem to understand the word 'unsubscribe' despite implorings from the rabbit using this word. Usually the Tea Party e-mails are along the lines of 'I am Hiram J Whackjob and I'm running in the Republican primary in Nosepick. Idaho against Deirdre M Toadthrottler, the most liberal Republican in the known universe. Blah. Drone'. Nobody in the Tea Party can have any money as they always end up asking for money too.

Anyway, an odd message arrived from the Tea Party the other day. It is headed '37 Things You Should Hoard...' and is from someone the rabbit has not met named Damian Campbell. I assume that he is another member of Christine's startlingly wide social circle.

It starts Dear Fellow Patriot (I assume there is no point in telling them I'm not even American let alone a fellow patriot),

This will be short and to the point (You need to read this message and I want to get you this information as fast as possible).


Very thoughtful I'm sure.

FEMA has ordered 420 million survival meals.


Not being American (see above) I had to google to discover that FEMA stands for Federal Emergency Management Agency.


Why would they need a 7000% increase of survival meals?

Good question, Damian. I wonder if he is related to the Damian in The Omen by the way.

Warming to his theme, Damian continues...

Disasters have been pummeling the world over the past couple of months. Maybe it’s the X-class solar flare that knocked out all of China’s communication back in February (“X” is NASA’s highest solar flare classification).

Or the reality that our fragile food supply chain could be knocked by just the threat of a disaster (even if it was just a false alarm)…


Whatever the reason, it’s about time the Government woke up and started paying attention!


As your fellow American, I’m hoping you won’t put your faith in a system that is bound to fail, but that’s your choice.


Really there are 37 critical items that you can buy from the grocery store that can be the difference between life and death:

So here is the life and death stuff from Damian. I confess I've absolutely no idea what he's blethering on about but am quite sure there's an explanation. Think of the above as a rabbit public service announcement.

I did promise some more cricket rabbit pics and here is one from the first England v West Indies 20/20 floodlit game at the Oval. A rabbit complaint: his ticket cost £60 ($91 - American persons). Okay the ground was pretty much full so the English Cricket Board would no doubt say that the market can bear those prices but they are hardly likely to attract first time spectators at that sort of price. oh and the food and drink was a rip off. The rabbit had a Caribbean burger (sic) at £6 ($9.10) which although not bad was about the size of a button and shared some potato wedges at £3 ($4.70). Not to mention 2 pints of beer at £6.80 ($10.67). What it is to be a captive market...

And finally and just because it came to mind, here is the original Long Black Veil by Lefty Frizzell (great name by the way). A cautionary tale...

And finally finally and with Hat Tip to Charon QC, here is his take on the great global non-functioning Blackberry disaster.

Still stupidly busy...

The rabbit is still busy and has just finished trying to clear the paperwork backlog at 7.45pm on Sunday evening. Three more sets of papers to go. Still, it hasn't been all work. The rabbit caught more cricket - England v West Indies 20/20 on Friday night - pic and comments to follow and saw Kill List last night. Review to follow but no time now.

It has also caught the rabbit's attention that The Selecter (see above) are performing at Fairfield Halls, Croydon on the 17th November - 15 minutes walk from the present rabbit residence - and the rabbit would like to go. But can't think who would like to go with him. Boo Hoo! First online offer to tag along accepted. How sad is that?

Silence and elk...

The rabbit would like to apologise for recent blogsilence which is due to his life having been taken over by a huge conspiracy to import cannabis case. The case continues for probably another two weeks but normal rabbiting will be resumed as soon as possible. In the interim, here is a jolly story from Sweden to keep readers going with Hat Tip to Mahal and BBC news.

"A homeowner in southern Sweden got a shock when he found a drunken elk stuck in his neighbour's apple tree.

The animal was apparently on the hunt for fermenting apples when she lost her balance and became trapped in the tree.



Per Johansson, from Saro near Gothenburg, found the elk making a roaring noise in the garden next door.
 He called the emergency services, who helped him free the boozed-up beast by sawing off branches. She spent the night recovering in the garden.



The next day she took herself off into the woods with her hangover.



It is not unusual to see elk, or moose as they are known in North America, drunk in Sweden during autumn, when there are plenty of apples about.



Other residents of Saro had seen the elk on the loose in the preceding days.


Mr Johansson said the elk appeared to be sick, drunk, or "half-stupid", the Associated Press reported".

Hic...

Bad taste day, la tomatina, appendage and gift

With Hat Tip to Peter Harvey, the rabbit's attention has been drawn to an annual event in the Spanish village of Bunoi called 'la tomatina'. The streets run red - not with blood but with - erm - squashed tomatoes as up to 40,000 tomato throwers turn up and throw tomatoes at each other. As you do.

There are strict rules to la tomatina: the tomatoes must be crushed to lessen impact, old clothes are to be warn and tennis shoes are to be worn rather than sandals. One can easily imagine a sandal floating away in a torrent of pureed tomatoes. A common problem, I'm sure all will agree. Goggles are advised. One website announces 'there is no political or religious significance to la tomatina'. Ermmm... Quite so. It was banned for a while under Franco, though. Puts you right off tomatoes - as in eating them - apparently.

It is the rabbit's unpleasant duty to advise his readers that Hurricane Irene did not stop bad behaviour on the part of at least one reprobate as can be seen from this news clip. Such behaviour is of course to be deprecated, particularly in such a difficult time. Hat Tip to Tony who does an exceedingly fine blog. For those of a sensitive disposition well - look away now.



Continuing the bad taste theme, the rabbit mentioned the Velvet Underground's The Gift in all its poor taste in a comment on JoJo's blog . Apparently it originates from a short story Lou Reed wrote in a creative writing class but it's the way John Cale tells it...

Rabbit at the cricket, Libya, East Coker and Jerry Lieber

The rabbit hopped off to the last day of the last England v India Test Match (that's as in international cricket American persons) and took some pictures on his phone cam. Here are the photos. Yes the game can last 5 days (as this one did) and still not produce a result (makes sense to me) but in fact there was aresult and England won and thus became officially the best team in the world and got a seriously dangerous looking mace as trophy to prove so. The game was at the Oval in south London, a ground the rabbit is very fond of. The above pic is of the Vauxhall end.

Above is a view straight across the ground from the rabbit's seat. I think it's Anderson bowling to Tendulkar but I might be completely mistaken about that. I should say that though I wanted England to win and do a whitewash, I wanted to see Tendulkar get his hundredth international century too. As it turned out, he got out on 91 and remains stranded on 99 international centuries.

For the sake of completeness, here is the view towards the pavilion end. the light was not on my side on this one. The players are on a drinks break hence the huddle of white clad people on the pitch.

By mid afternoon the crowd got skittish and started a Mexican wave. I think this is the Mexican wave heading our way but it isn't very clear. Sorry about that.

And this is the moment that England won. I detest nationalism but confess to being something of a patriot.

This photo is from the awards ceremony at the end. At first on reviewing the pictures I couldn't work out why I took it, then I remembered being amused by the small boy on his father's shoulders waving an oversized blue hand about.

While on the subject of small boys, here is the England cricket lion, purchased for the newest and smallest rabbit on the day.

On a completely different topic, I then spent until far too late on Monday evening watching events in Tripoli on tv. It must be said - although it gives me no pleasure - Sky News had the BBC knocked into a cocked hat as to coverage. While the BBC had endlessly repeated footage from earlier that day and talking heads, Sky had Alex Crawford on one of the Mad Max style rebel vehicles as it drove deeper and deeper into Tripoli. Compulsive viewing and huge credit to Alex Crawford who will surely win some sort of award for pluckiness and drama.

East Coker (above) is a village in Somerset associated with T.S. Eliot and in particular his Four Quartets, the second of which is entitled East Coker - yes folks, the one beginning 'in my beginning is my end'. Now Eliot was a difficult man and some of his racial attitudes in particular cannot be excused but I would give just about any body part (no, not that one, there are limits) to write poetry like he did. Try The Wasteland for size. What can I say apart from pure genuis? Don't attempt to answer that. It's a rhetorical question.

In any event a campaign is afoot. There is a proposal to build 3,700 houses nearby on the fringes of Yeovil on what is presently open arable land.

People need houses and I am against nimbyism (not in my back yard) but no. Not there. There is a proposal to go for world heritage status for East Coker if that is what it takes to stop the development. The rabbit says leave East Coker as it is!

And finally, the rabbit was sad to learn that Jerry Lieber of Lieber and Stoller fame died the other day. They wrote the above - among a lot of other stuff. Enjoy!

Of riots and sentences and even more Christine

David 'Dave' Cameron, a prime minister, has not by general consensus had a good - I struggle for the phrase - breakdown in social norms period. I mention in passing that the rabbit has received an e-mail nominating Cameron for the hitherto nonexistent Knob of the Year award. You got it! Cameron has appeared peevish, superficial, not quite on top of things - oh and various beastly people keep reminding him of his Bullingdon Club past. Invitations to 'Dave' to give a rendition of the famous chant 'Buller, Buller, Buller! Buller, Buller, Buller! We are the famous Bullingdon Club, and we don't give a fuck!' are unlikely to be greeted with a favourable response.

So 'Dave' has gone for that old standby for politicians in trouble, playing tough. Oh yes, he is tough. Words can hardly describe the toughness that is 'Dave'. In full on showboating mode, 'Dave' pronounced 'what happened on our streets was absolutely appalling behaviour and to send a very clear message that it's wrong and won't be tolerated is what the criminal justice system should be doing'.

Now as a legislator, 'Dave' is entitled to alter the criminal justice system in any way he sees fit - not matter how idiotic - but where 'Dave' can butt out is as regards providing the mood music to a certain approach to sentencing. It's a seperation of powers thing. Inevitably Home Secretary Theresa May has joined in the 'tough' rhetoric. From Labour a deafening silence - Labour decided in the Blair era that it was never again going to risk the 'soft on crime' label and has duly maintained a stony silence subject to coded - even impenetrable - comments by Miliband (E). Grudging respect has to be given to some Lib Dems for actually standing up to this farrago of bully pulpit posturing.

Just a few comments. One subtext is the moral panic as regards Facebook/Twitter as if the riots were all orchestrated by these media. I suspect the proposition is overstated, as is the proposition that gangs were the driving force behind the disorder. Now gangs undoubtedly exist and are undoubtedly in many ways a menace but I do not accept that the events of last Sunday to Tuesday were instigated and manipulated by a collection of 15 year old Napoleons. When the likes of China or Mubarak's Egypt close down or hyper regulate social networking sites then we rightly cry foul. Some overexcited media talk and we are in danger of sleepwalking into regulation ourselves.

The proposals to evict council tenants if an occupier - not necessarily even the tenant(s) - is convicted of a riot related offence. This smacks of collective punishment - outlawed in times of war by the Geneva Convention. Why stop at eviction? How about some West Bank style house demolitions?

Sentencing - yes, some sentences are off the wall kneejerk responses. Also, the climate in which the normal sentencing guidelines appear to no longer apply produces bizarre disparities. For example in one case in Bury St Edmunds a 17 year old escaped custody after posting to his Facebook friends  'I think we should start rioting - it's about time we stopped the authorities pushing us about. It's about time we stood up for ourselves for once so come on riot - get some - LoL'. We are in silly kid territory here. He received a community rehabilitation order and a year's ban from social media. Meanwhile Jordan Blackshaw, 20, and Perry Sutcliffe-Keenan, 22 - both of previous good character - were sentenced to 4 years imprisonment for inciting a riot that never happened on Facebook. Similarly and equally contentiously, a student with no previous convictions was sentenced to 6 months imprisonment for stealing £3.50 worth of bottled water. Over the top? Even in the context if a riot, the rabbit thinks so.

In a way most troubling of all - because of the presumption of bail which follows from the presumption of innocence - large numbers of people who would undoubtedly be granted bail with little difficulty in another context are being remanded in custody. It has never been suggested here that the particular problem of the riots has simple causes or invite simple solutions but the one thing that must be true is that the powers that be cannot imprison their way out of the problem.

Plus the rabbit is shocked to have to announce that Piers 'Moron' Morgan has so provoked poor Christine with his impertinenvce that she felt herself constrained to walk off set. There is no excuse for bad manners, I am sure all will agree. Hat Tip to Catchy

Apes, Knob Extra and Christine

As threatened yesterday, the rabbit hopped off with no great expectations - and despite an e-mail from Boston, Mass saying not to waste the rabbit's time on it -  to see Rise of the Planet of the Apes. It's actually okay. Even better than okay. I'd seen the criticism that it doesn't have a plot but in point of fact it does. Quite a clever one too. Good visually too. Go see. Ave Caesar.

Yesterday's posting was somewhat rushed so did not quite give the magnificence that is Michele Bachmann full exposure - but did give her one too many 'l' in her first name. Anyway, Michele has an unusual husband named Marcus who is involved with la Bachmann in a body - I don't actually think it is called Pray Away The Gay - but that is the general idea - which helpfully explains that prayer could rid people of homosexual urges and resulting in eventual be 're-orientation'.

Don't try this one at home kids. Andrew Sullivan, the excellent Sunday Times American correspondent describes Marcus to the effect of him being camper than Graham Norton which would suggest that all may not be well on the re-orientation front chez Bachmann. Mind you they have loads of children, Oh never mind...

More sensibly, our heroine introduced a  Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act. No doubt a useful piece of legislation.

Meanwhile Michelle's co-knob Rick Perry has signed execution warrants for some ridiculous number of people including at least one apparently innocent person. Seems a very suitable candidate. Just like Michele.

Even more meanwhile, Christine O'Donnell keeps e-mailing the rabbit. Her latest news is that she has a book coming out. Here is the link to the Publishers Weekly webpage for this august opus. Go on! Post a comment! You know you want to! Most demented comment wins a Golden Rabbit (virtual of course).

Fawkes on state strangulation and Knob of the Week 6....



Recent events have rather buried the story of Paul Stainey aka Guido Fawkes and his e-petition to restore capital punishment for the murder of children and police officers killed in the line of duty.  He has no chance but 100,000 signatures and the petition is debated in Parliament. Suggestions that Stainey is simply on a self-promotion binge are of course to be deprecated.

In the unlikely event that he reads this, a question from the rabbit. If murder is proved against any person for the killing of the three young men in Birmingham who were seeking to protect their neighbourhood - and neighbours - then that would not be capital murder on Planet Stainey. In what sense are  the murders of children and police officers killed in the line of duty 'worse' than the Birmingham deaths if proved to be murder and thus by exytension more 'deserving' of the death penalty? I ask as someone opposed to capital punishment in all circumstances.

Or are we in self indulgent bollocks territory here?

Which leads seamlessly to another Knob of the Week Award and the first joint award of this prestigious prize. The rabbit declares the joint winners toibe Republican presidential candidates Michelle Bachmann and Rick Perry. Bachmann has recently left her church - a body being of the opinion that the Pope is the antichrist. Now there are many criticisms that can be made of the Pope but the criticism that he is the antichrist suggests not playing with a full deck so Bachmann (a) looks a flake for being a member of such a church in the first place and (b) looks opportunist for having left it as she launches a campaign for the Republican nomination, it presumably not having escaped her attention that there are millions of US Roman Catholic voters out there who might be less than impressed at the thought of an adherent of a church considering their spiritual leader as the antichrist. And as for Perry - well it is hardly coming over all Dawkins to view this as wholly inappropriate for a political leader in his capacity as such. It didn't work by the way.

While on the subject of knobs, follow the link for some innocent fun at the expense of 'Dave', a Prime Minister. Hat Tip to Nathaniel Topley via Charon QC.

I'll say a little more about the riots soon but must dash - with no great expectations - to see Thingy of the Planet of the Apes. Some clown in central Croydon was wandering about 'singing' the following song tunelessly the other day. He wins deputy knob.

After the riots

A few random thoughts. The header is 'after the riots'. I think that's it. The killing of the three young men in Birmingham has caused such a wave of disgust that there will be no more riots. Until the next time.

The above photo is the most bizarre - as opposed to dramatic or tragic - to emerge from the riots. For overseas readers and the terminally inattentive the man in the middle with the red tie is Ed Miliband, a leader of the opposition and the woman to his left (okay his right, our left) is Harriet 'Hattie' Harman, his deputy. What is the bizarre bit is the unnaturally excited expression on Hattie's face. The man with the headphones is wearing a T shirt. it reads:

IF IN DOUBT PULL IT OUT!

Surely this prospect could not be the cause of Hattie's blissed out expression?

Best riot related quote comes from journalist Aditya Chakrabortty: 'It was almost Proustian. Except the madeleines were looted'. Ermmm. Quite so.

Most bizarre riot related fact: The Iranian government offered to send human rights monitors to Britain. I confess myself somewhat puzzled by the idea of Iranian human rights monitors. What exactly do they do usually?

 

 

More seriously, the man who probably stopped the riots is Tariq Jahan ,father of one of the three young men killed in Birmingham on Tuesday night. He was heartbroken and heartbreaking. I do believe it was his words that basically stopped the riots bar the shouting.

 

 

And the shouting will now commence, starting at the recalled House of Commons today. Two nonsenses need eliminating in very short order. Firstly, the riots were not about, or caused by 'the cuts' in some mechanical way. Secondly, nor were they simply about human wickedness without context other than the wickedness itself. This is not a nation at ease with itself. Remember that to the extent there are 'feral' youths on the rampage, there are also - as touched on recently - feral elites. Our rulers - politicians, bankers, media players - think the rules don't apply to them either. Then it becomes no surprise that the underclass take over the former Bullingdon Club role as Lords of Misrule as the former members of the latter move on to other things, such as being Prime Minister or Mayor of London.

Okay, and as a parting shot some more relevant Clash stuff.

Afterthought to riot diaries...

There is a British propensity to carry on through all sorts of lunacy as if nothing is happening. As immortalised by this scene from Carry On Up The Khyber.

the riot diaries...

Unless you have been hiding under a stone or engaged in trekking in the more remote parts of Papua New Guinea, it will not have escaped your attention that there has been a revival of the occasional British summer recreation of rioting and looting. The supposed cause is the fatal shooting by police of Mark Duggan in Tottenham (that's in North London overseas readers) on Thursday the 4th August. The shooting led to a peaceful protest at Tottenham police station on the following Saturday which lead to rioting in that area on Saturday night which spread to neighbouring areas on Sunday night which went viral yesterday. No, I don't think the rioting is anything to do with the Duggan case - his family have dissociated themselves from it. The motivation is excitement and greed. It is fair comment to say that the rioters - or some of them - are young people who have little or no sense of having a stake in society  It is also fair to say that much of the policing of inner city areas is heavy handed if not to say downright oafish and stereotyped - but this is scant consolation (or excuse) if you have just been burnt out of your home or business by the rioters. So it's just plain wrong and to talk as I saw Darcus Howe do on BBC News 24 this morning of 'popular insurrection' is total rubbish. That it ain't.

So.... My day in riot zones. Yesterday I was at Edmonton County Court. At about 3 o'clock the message arrived from police. Rioters heading your way. Evacuate and close the court. Rapidly 'adjourned part heard' as we say in the trade. I walked down to White Hart Lane railway station with a law student and an interpreter who had been on my case. Now this is mid afternoon there was a lot of broken glass about from a series of shattered shop windows but the place was eerily calm. There were people about but nothing unusual. It was just like a normal Monday afternoon - apart from the broken glass. We got on a train to Liverpool Street. Uneventful.

After a couple of hours in the office I went to Earl's Court to meet a friend who is over from Macau. We had dinner and thereupon repaired to his hotel to share a bottle of wine. Both my children ring. Am I all right? Did I know Croydon is ablaze (I moved to Croydon about 2 months ago)? I should say that I had got a text saying that the Croydon branch of my gym had closed for 'security reasons' but otherwise hadn't followed the news other than to gather that there had been street disturbances in the day in Hackney, apparently triggered by a police stop and search. My gym is in Surrey Street, Croydon. The below image is from Surrey Street last night. It is of a  woman jumping from her first floor flat. Police at street level are waiting to catch her.

I decided I'd better get back. I travel to Victoria station - again uneventfully. At the back of my mind is the thought that maybe trains to East Croydon (my local station) have been cancelled. No - there is a train stopping at East Croydon leaving in about 5 minutes. I'm on it. It stops at Clapham Junction and then on to East Croydon. Older son is still concerned.

There follow a series of texts. Let the texts take up the story:

White Rabbit: So far so good. Got to Clapham Junction safely.

Older son: Get out of Junction. There are hundreds of kids tearing it apart.

WR: Station was fine. passed through it now.

The railway station was completely peaceful. No sign of the mayhem outside.

OS: Ok cool. Yeah they are completely fucking up Clapham Junction. The riot is a big thing :0

Younger son later told me he was driving through Clapham Junction and kids with stolen televisions were running across his path. He got back safely and kept checking if I was all right. They are good like that.

After a historical digression as regards Brixton (see image below from Brixton last night), there are exchanges about copycat activities in Birmingham.



The train stops at Selhurst. This is not a scheduled stop, I don't like this. Have they closed East Croydon and are planning to turf us out at Selhurst?The idea of walking from Selhurst through a riot zone or trying to find a cab is not attractive.

WR: Train stopped at Selhurst.

WR: Ah - moved again.

OS: LOL

I got to East Croydon. Lots of police on station forecourt. Only one exit still opened. I walk through. A large group of people on the other side of the road. No hostility or anything. They are just standing around. I head briskly back to the flat - a ten minute walk. My ex texts to see if I am all right. I call her, son and friend from earlier that evening. Yes, I'm fine thank you. Meanwhile in another part of central Croydon...



May you live in interesting times. Only one song to end this posting with... For more images follow this link.

Okay, I can't help it...

Okay, I'd promised myself no babypics on White Rabbit but just one can't hurt can it? Anyway, it's August and no-one's looking. Above is baby's first trip to a restaurant - okay Pizza Express as can be seen from the menu - aged 8 days. He has just been fed and filled a nappy so looks appropriately relaxed. The smallest small rabbit still doesn't have a name but is known to a number of people including his grandfather as 'Clint' - the baby with no name after the man with no name. All will become clear... Oh and the object middle right edge of the photo isnt Thing from The Munsters but his father's (still connected) right hand.

The thought police stopped in their tracks...

About the first thing taught to the law student is that there is no such thing in English law as thought crime. Or to put it another way, people are tried for what it is said they did and not for what they are.

No-one appears to have told PC Plod aka the City of Westminster police's  - erm - counter terrorist focus desk (sic) who have communicated with local businesses and residents to the effect that informing on anarchists to the local old bill - just for being anarchists - is a worthy activity. 'Anarchism is a political philosophy which considers the state undesirable, unnecessary, and harmful, and instead promotes a stateless society, or anarchy. Any information relating to anarchists should be reported to your local police' they pronounce.

Sex and travel spring to mind as an appropriate response. The City of Westminster police whatever-it-is lumped anarchists together with Islamist terrorists (but not the EDL). It has been pointed out that to be an anarchist is not to be a criminal, that anarchists advocate grassroots organising as opposed to acts of terrorism and that some anarchists are also pacifists. They may not be constitutionalists but - at the risk of labouring the point - we do not have thoughtcrime.

Happily, plod has become embarrassed by the episode. Cue a climbdown by Belgravia's finest. The call for finger pointing  - sorry information 'could have been better worded' Scotland Yard admitted. Indeed it could. 'The Metropolitan police service does not seek to stigmatise those people with legitimate political views' we are reassured.

Oh good. Some basic 'how not to make an idiot of yourself' training seems in order. The rabbit confesses to very mild and wishy washy anarchist sympathies - but don't tell the Belgravia police.

Meanwhile, an interesting idea has been floated as a response to what its proposers calls 'feral elites' - political (as in MP's expenses), financial (bankers' bonuses and conduct generally - 'nuff said?) and media (just the word 'Murdoch' will suffice methinks).

Just as Leona Helmsley notoriously said 'only the little people pay taxes' our rulers appear to hold the unshakeable conviction that the rules are only for the little people and not for them. They apparently have some sort of dispensation.

A People's Jury of a thousand citizens has been proposed. It's an interesting idea. Watch this space. The rabbit apologises if some recent postings have been dangerously near to serious. Usual silliness will be resumed as soon as possible. Didn't we do well by the way?