Wednesday, 30 March 2011
A neighbour is quoted as saying 'People are joking that the house is the third on the Reich and that we live on the Western Front. You have to see the funny side of life sometimes'.
Indeed you do. To this end, and with Hat Tip to mahal, here is some informative stuff from The Onion. In the meantime the rabbit has found time to start a heated debate in the Guardian letters page concerning whether horses know it is their birthday. Here are links to my original letter -it's the bottom one - also printed in the paper edition I hasten to add - as was this reply published today. I don't know what to say in reply to Mr Spooner. Anyone got any ideas? Oh - and here is Einstein - the horse who sparked this debate - and friends - or do horses have friends?
Sunday, 20 March 2011
Here comes trouble.....
Gadaffi is undoubtedly a loathsome toad and not playing with a full deck. This is a bad combination. If unrestrained he will undoubtedly butcher as many of that sector of his population as he can - and then lie about doing so. This Gadaffi is of course not to be confused with the reformed chaacter we could do business with and friend of T. Blair.
The Libyan rebels are brave and fighting against an undoubted tyranny. And yet. And yet. Something deep down inside me tells me that no good will come of this - and may even make Gadaffi some sort of grotesque hero.
The rabbit will simply for the moment tender an article by arab journalist Abdel al-Bari Atwan from yesterday's edition of the rabbit's usual dose of liberal rhubarb. We shall see...
He asks an interesting question - why was there no 'no fly zone' over Gaza 2008-9?'
That would be because...
On a less grave matter and following on from the obituary of Owsley Stanley, we consider the Grateful Dead dancing teddy bear. Owsley, commonlly known as 'Bear' and who used the dancing bear on his - erm - LSD commented...
The bears were actually doing a high-step march-not dancing'.
Wednesday, 16 March 2011
Eccentric doesn't do justice to the guy. Jimi Hendrix's Purple Haze is a reference to his acid. Owsley's acid was mostly called - erm - Owsley's acid and figures in the rabbit's first (unpublished) novel White Rabbit - sorry had to slip that one in! He started manufacturing LSD when it was legal but carried on after it became illegal. In the end he was inevitably busted and ran the highly amusing (or at least the rabbit is amused) defence that 350,000 tabs of acid were for - erm - personal use. Result: 3 years inside.
Stanley's eccentricities did not end there - he believed that carbohydrates poisoned the body and vegetables interfered with nutrition. In 2005 he contracted throat cancer, attributing his survival to starving the tumour of glucose through diet. Well - erm - apparently it worked. As a sound engineer, the fact that the Dead's archive is hugely with us is down to his diligence but as an obsessive, his sound systems were often less than practical and took forever to put up and take down.
His final eccentric project was - believing that global warming was part of a natural cycle and not man made and anticipating a new ice age as presumably the next stage in the cycle - moving to the Australian outback as the safest place to be in for that sort of event. He had four children including a son called Starfinder and a daughter called Redbird. Let Garcia have the final word: 'there's nothing wrong with Bear that a few billion less brain cells wouldn't cure'.
Oh and he also created this...
Monday, 14 March 2011
Thursday, 3 March 2011
Dildo, President, Zion and Christine
She told the bartender that she was going to go home for the money, set off (despite a broken foot) and fell over. 'Partly, I was intoxicated, so that had something to do with it' Carolee helpfully explained. A police officer pitched up, told her she would be arrested if she didn't pay Joe's bill and was 'kind enough to take me home' as Carolee later elaborated.
How was the officer's kindness repaid? Not well I fear. Carolee went to her bedroom when the officer entered thus startling her. The police allege that she raised a 'clear, rigid feminine pleasure device' over her head and went at the officer. In other words threatened him with a dildo. She is running self-defence.
Above is the London 2012 Olympic logo and pretty stupid it is too. The Iranians have claimed that the logo spells ZION and are threatening a boycott. Let the rabbit put their minds to rest at once. Of course the logo doesn't spell ZION. What a silly theory. It is of course Lisa Simpson committing a sex act. Trust this clarifies matters.
Imagine the rabbit's surprise when yet another e-mail from Christine O'Donnell pops into his inbox. I wonder if Christine knows that there is legislation against stalking in this country. I expect she would claim it was an act of love. That's the usual explanation given by stalkers. Anyway, Christine explains that she has been asked to participate in Dancing With Stars, which is apparently the American equivalent of Strictly Come Dancing. Sadly Christine has declined the invitation on the ground that she is too busy writing a book. A great shame, I'm sure all will agree. She could have become the American equivalent of that other dancing right wing politician Ann Widdecombe here doing her impersonation of Kate Winslet in Titanic on Strictly Come Dancing. Very convincing too, I'm sure you'll all agree. They must have been seperated at birth.
Say what you will about Ann Widdecombe, and indeed Christine O'Donnell but they have never threatened anyone with a dildo. Well, not very often anyway..