Keeping up this blog's reputation as a fount of legal wisdom necessitates me drawing to wider public attention one David Holyoak. He is a robber. It is my painful duty to report that he is not a good one as he is - well - so ugly he is easily recognised and keeps being arrested after effortless identification. Holyoak copped three and a half years at Bolton Crown Court yesterday for being part of a gang who robbed a Halifax bank near Preston and threatened the cashier with a sledgehammer. Holyoak was arrested following an eyewitness description of his - erm - ears. Why am I not surprised? The gang generally sound like prize numpties. They drove their getaway car straight into a tree. Doh! A no doubt smirking constabulary have helpfully advised him that he is too ugly for crime.
There is just one nagging thought that occurs to me. Holyoak is from Manchester. Surely Holyoak looks pretty normal for those parts? By further illustration, below is an ugly football XI created by some wag. For the footballingly uninitiated, the two uglies labelled Neville are brothers and come from the same part of the world. I rest my case.
Well maybe not quite - one witty - as opposed to mindlessly unpleasant - football chant is 'Neville, Neville your face is a mess' to the tune of David Bowie's Rebel Rebel. And right on cue...
That's enough ugly people. Maybe if you are all good some Bananarama soon...
Too ugly for crime! That's pretty funny.
I like the ugly chart. Very creative.
Maybe they were robbing the cashier so that he could get the money for surgery to pin his ears back.
How in the name of Jebus did he fit through windies with those ears?
How in the name of Jebus did he fit a stocking over those ears?
Haha, how unlucky!
bless his heart, it's a wonder he didn't just sail away in the wind, sugar! xoxoxo
Why Do Wags Marry Such Ugly People?
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