Jilted John had better be explained for overseas and younger readers. He (real name Graham Fellows) was a one hit wonder in 1978 with a quirky byproduct of the punk era. The one hit was also called Jilted John - a tirade against his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend Gordon. One line stuck in everybody's heads: 'Gordon is a moron'. It got to number 4 in the UK charts to general bemusement. It sounds like it was recorded by a teenager in his garage - I wouldn't bet against it having been. So matters rested for decades.
Then we acquired a Prime Minister, first name Gordon. The satirical possibilities of Jilted John were realised. This clip is by the improbably named Herr Kamel. It also looks like it was produced in a teenager's garage and I was tutting disapprovingly at the spelling mistakes. It has its moments though - Clare Short and John Reid appearing to give varying manual demonstrations of the dimensions of the Prime Ministerial appendage. Near the end, there is the announcement 'Andrew Neil was not harmed during the making of this film'.
Completely different topics now. The long promised update on the crime novel. I have completed the edits. The cliche is true: the writing is in the re-writing. My tendency to get a word or phrase in my head and repeat it (I think - or at least hope - this is pretty universal) is truly alarming. In particular, I discover I have a fixation with the word 'eventually'. The editing has resulted in a huge cull of eventuallys. A few were spared but not many. Spotting sentences that add nothing to the narrative flow but rather interrupt it has been a necessary task. Conversely, I have got carried away with myself here and there and added detail. Anyway, that's my best shot for now and the agent has been e-mailed. Experience tells that agents invariably demand further re-writes. It's as if they feel they aren't doing their job if they don't. I'll report on progress or lack of it.
I haven't done an Old Bailey Chronicles in a good while. Yesterday's featured case, a murder trial from 1742, is far too long to copy and paste. But take a look - it makes a fascinating read - http://www.oldbaileyonline.org/browse.jsp?div=t17420909-37.
As a parting shot and for no reason other than to improve the musical quality after Jilted John, here are Sly and Robbie with Shine Eye Dub.