The Wasteland, the tower and the Mail...

The fact that today is the first of April put me in mind of T.S.Eliot's The Wasteland (he's the bloke in the pic) and its endlessly quoted opening lines...

April is the cruellest month, breeding

Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing

Memory and desire, stirring

Dull roots with spring rain.

I'll resist the temptation to copy, paste and post more. The bit about a 'handful of dust' gave the title to Evelyn Waugh's worst novel. Just read it (The Wasteland, I mean not A Handful of Dust). It's simply stunning. Perfection

The tangled mass of metal above is as far from perfection as can be imagined. The Guardian newspaper has a long tradition of running spoof stories on the 1st April by way of an April Fool joke. The most famous was a seven page report on a nonexistent island called San Seriffe (which is actually a typeface) When I saw this story this morning I assumed it must be an April Fool joke.

I copy and paste...

Designs for what will be Britain's biggest piece of public art, a 120 metres tall looping tower by the artist Anish Kapoor that people will be able to climb, giving spectacular views of London, were unveiled today by Boris Johnson, mayor of London.

Kapoor's Orbit, a vast, snaking steel structure, will dominate the 2012 Olympic park. It is being hailed as London's answer to the Eiffel tower and is part of an ambition to make the Olympics site a permanent visitor attraction.

The terrible truth has dawned on me. It is not a spoof. This is for real. I will speak slowly and loudly:

IT

IS

FUCKING

HIDEOUS!!!

Please! Let's get this stupid, stupid, horrible looking thing stopped dead in its tracks at the idea stage. I know the Eiffel Tower was unpopular initially and people were sceptical about the London Eye but just look at the thing!

MERCY!!!

AAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!

Finally, here are Dan and Dan with their take on thea British 'newspaper' that defies description in moderate language. You'll get the general idea from the clip.
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Gideon Osborne (his real name)

Here is the consistently great Beau Bo D'Or (link to left)'s take on Gideon Osborne's National Insurance gig. (Overseas readers - don't worry. you're not missing much. It's just that there is to be a general election here very soon indeed). Here are the leaders of the two main parties.

All very odd....

Apologies if you have seen this before, it's not an entirely fresh story but there have been strange goings on at Zurich zoo. The zebra above stuck its head into the hippo's mouth (this is not advisable - hippos can be notoriously grumpy and you really wouldn't want your head between the hippo's jaws) but the hippo just keopt its mouth open and let the zebra get on with it. Don't ask me why - I'm not an animal behaviourist - but the zebra was cleaning the hippo's teeth. Very thoughtful of it too. Hat Tip to the Dental Maven - who takes a professional interest in these matters.

Here is another song I have already posted but in a different version. I posted a live version of Drive All Night a while ago but here is the studio version complete with a rather fine clip of night driving. From the comments on Youtube the clip puzzled American viewers with the traffic being on the 'wrong' side of the road.
One concluded it was Australia because Britain surely couldn't have so many big rigs. Oh yes we can. It's the M1, Britain's first motorway. Oh and the song is just a great love song, complete with Clarence Clemons doing wonderful things to a saxophone - as is his habit - half way through or thereabouts.

Oh - and Easter is a time for giving flowers, so here is White Rabbit's gift to his readers via Banksy. Oh, and for some Easter reading here, from the Huffington Post via Mahal, is a list of the 11 most surprising banned books - I wonder what on earth it said in that dictionary!

Banksy and congratulations

I've been meaning to blog on Banksy for ages. Apologies to British readers - Banksy being well known here - if I start with a bit of basic stuff. Banksy started as a graffiti artist. He works in stencils. Reputedly he started to use stencils because he realised how much quicker he could work using them when hiding from the police under a train. The number was stencilled on the chassis. An inspirational moment followed. His identity has not been definitively established. It is known that he comes from the Bristol area. He was reputedly born in 1974. There seems to be a Mrs Banksy. A name has been attached to this shadowy identity. Let's not spoil the fun by digging too deep. This one is rather rude, isn't it?

Inevitably, he uses surrealist images such as this one of an ATM attacking a girl...


And one of his finest moments was working into the Louvre with his copy of the Mona Lisa, subverted by a smiley face. He hung it up. Unsurprisingly, it was rapidly removed. 'To actually ... go through the process of having a painting selected must be quite boring. It's a lot more fun to go and put your own one up'. I can relate to that.


In fact he seems very fond of Mona Lisa; she keeps recurring as a theme.


In another of his finest moments - well quite extend period of time - he went to the West Bank and set about subverting the apartheid wall (West Banksy the episode was called). He met with a distinctly mixed reaction. The Israeli Occupation Forces threatened him verbally and pointed their guns at him on a number of occasions and an old Palestinian told him after telling him that he had made the wall beautiful 'We don't want it (the wall) to be beautiful, we hate this wall. Go home.'

I do like this one from Bethlehem of the young girl frisking the soldier.


I think what I like about Banksy - well apart from his glorious subversion of all sorts of things is his English eccentricity plus his uncommercial approach to his work. It's not that he hasn't made any money out of his art. He has. However he could have made a vast amount more if he had taken a hard nosed commecial approach. He didn't and kudos to him. I will leave the last words to him.

Well maybe not quite the last words. Two good things happened today. Firstly, John Hirst aka jailhouselawyer has got engaged. Congratulations! Secondly,
Lawminx is back blogging after all sort of health problems. Welcome back your minxitude! You've been sorely missed!

For American (and British) readers...

A strange girl called Sarah gives you the chills. Hmmm ... Here is some more sensible stuff on American attitudes and beliefs relating to President Antichrist - sorry Obama. A further good news story from Texas shows why all is well on the healthcare front thus obviating the need for any intervention by President Antichrist and his pals. Double Hat Tip to Mahal. All is also well in Britain...

The fine looking fellow above is named Bob Bailey and is a Barking (sic) BNP Councillor and in a spot of poo. Our man attended a Barking council planning meeting where a Nigerian church was applying for plannning permission to convert an office building to a church. Councillor Bailey was off on one...

He said he had visited the premises and told the planning committee meeting 'these people eat off the ground'. He added 'we don't want the amount of black children'. Our hero may be suspended from the council. It turns out that he has a bit of form - literally as it happens. Mr Barking was stopped when driving without lights and refused a breathalyser procedure on the grounds that the police who bothered him thus were part of a politically inspired conspiracy acting upon 'a higher order...'. He elaborated 'it adds to my belief it is a conspiracy against me, my party and the indigenous people of this country'. Notwithstanding this helpful explanation, Bailey was convicted. A court appointed doctor said that Bailey suffered from a 'possible personality disorder'.

A BNP member with a personality disorder? Who would have thought such a thing?

For further sensible stuff - and with yet another hat Tip to Mahal - here is more news on the asbo (antisocial behaviopur order) front concerning a Mrs Cartwright who is in trouble for allegedly breaking her asbo prohibiting her from having noisy sex only two days after it was imposed. A fine looking woman she is, I'm sure you'll all agree.

Time for something heart warming...

Hat Tip to Cute Overload. But this is not nice...

Professional eater?

Anniversary...

Today is the first anniversary of me stopping smoking. The circumstances were odd, as was explained here. I haven't touched a cigarette since, or at the risk of tempting fate, wanted to. I've just put on two stones instead. I say that - I've being trying to lose some of the additional weight and a few of the extra pounds have been shedded - helped by lots of gym work. I can now be insured as a non-smoker too. Cartoon below nicked from Earl's quiz...

Cover that anus, Fido!

With Hat Tip to Mahal and a question as to what on earth he was looking for when he found this, I have to report further American paranoia about - erm - uncovered bits. This time it is not nude snow sculptures causing the trouble but animal's - ahem - anuses (should that be 'ani'?) One person's paranoia is another's commercial opportunity and into the breach steps Rear Gear and a tasteful selection of - erm butt plugs (sic).

'Is your pet feeling left in the dirt because of his/her unsightly rear? I’ve got them covered...' writes Ms Rear Gear reassuringly.

Which is nice.

'Rear Gear comes in many designs including a disco ball, air freshener, heart, flower, biohazard, smiley face, number one ribbon, cupcake, sheriff's badge, dice, and you can even make yours custom, so there’s a Rear Gear for everyone'

The item on display above has sold out. Why am I not surprised? Do you have to train your dog/cat/pet armadillo to lift up the flap when he/she needs to...

Oh never mind.

I suspect the young lady's tongue is firmly in her cheek. I wonder about some of her purchasers, though. Here is another animal pic - this time from Cute Overload via Android . Reminiscent of the infamous Crasher Squirrel.

Shropshire...

I don't think that I'd ever even been to Shropshire until I started working out of Birmingham but I have been there quite a lot for work reasons of late. i have to report that it is rather lovely (well apart from Telford, a typically plastic new town I have been suitably rude about already a while ago). Shropshire is obscure. It's tucked in the corner where the west midlands meet Mid Wales. The best parts are the Shropshire Hills. I went through them by train the other day. I was trying to work on some case papers but had to keep looking up to take in just how pretty my surroundings were. Here is one image of the Shropshire Hills below. The picture above is Ludlow, a pretty and historic town where the heart of Arthur, Henry VIII's older brother who died in Ludlow castle, is buried in the local Parish Church - unlike the rest of him which is variously described as buried in Westminster Abbey and Worcester Cathedral.. .

I was amused when passing by I forget quite where on my way to Ludlow to see a sign to 'The Land of Lost Content'. What exactly that was remains obscure but is a reference to A.E. Houseman's A Shropshire Lad.

Into my heart on air that kills
From yon far country blows:
What are those blue remembered hills,
What spires, what farms are those?

That is the land of lost content,
I see it shining plain,
The happy highways where I went
And cannot come again.

Dennis Potter (for the unacquainted a British Playwright who worked only in television because he believed it was the medium for the age) did a play, set in the summer of 1943, called Blue Remembered Hills back in the late 70s. It was up there with Lord of the Flies as a portrayal of brutality - mental and physical - among children



The clever thing was that he had the children played by adult actors, including a young Helen Mirren. See if you can spot her (okay, it's not that hard).

All my own work...

I don't know what came over me. Blush! And happy St Patrick's Day to one all all.

This is by a friend of a friend of Earl...

and he wants it to go viral. So I'm playing my part. Pass it on...

Plus something for the weekend. The first posting ever ever on WR was about Ruben and Cerise. Evidently the Dead only did the song live four times. Here is one of the four. Visually it is pretty dire but the music is good enough to be soundboard stuff.

Antidote time...

Writing about all those fascists depressed the rabbit temporarily. Time for the antidote. Here we have the Dead with Scarlet Begonias.

All together now...

Well there ain't nothing wrong with the way she moves,

Scarlet begonias or a touch of the blues.

And there's nothing wrong with the look that's in her eyes,

Had to learn the hard way to let her pass by, let her pass by

Quite so. The rabbit also managed to secure a hugely discounted Barcelona shirt today. Homage to Catalonia.

I really don't get it...

With apologies to those out of these loops this posting involves (a) law (b) politics and (c) British stuff. I will try and explain. The fat oily slug with the striped tie above is Nick Griffin. He is leader of the British National Party, and as is usual with persons of such predelictions, a very poor advert for the white race he is so attached to.

The British National Party (BNP) was founded in its present (second) incarnation in 1982. At first, it was clear to a moron in a hurry that it was a neo-nazi party because it said so. In 1999 the fat oily slug became Fuehrer - I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me - Leader. There is a long version and a short version of what then happened. Let's go for the short version. Griffin is at least fly enough to realise that holcaust denying, Hitler loving, obsessively anti-semitic overt racism is box office poison. He therefore set about sanitising the image of the BNP for official purposes - and in particular electoral purposes. The limited but not insignificant gains in local, Londonwide and European elections shows that to an extent this strategy has worked. The exercise is of course purely cosmetic and the nasty stuff bursts out fairly regularly. Griffin himself carries a lot of holocaust denying, KKK loving baggage. He is standing against Labour MP Margaret Hodge in Barking in the upcoming election. He is expected to do very well in a drab, angry east London outpost, helped by the fact that Margaret Hodge exemplifies everything that is dreadful about New Labour. As an Islington residing multimillionaress she is an easy target. There is a serious point here, the characterisation of New Labour as a bunch of metropolitan snobs is pretty on the money and their ignorance as to the circumstances of life for the white working class and their mystification at its resentments is palpable. they really don't get it. Griffin gets it, though. Therein lies the danger. But I digress...

Enter the Equality and Human Rights Commission. It issued county court proceedings against the BNP in respect of its constitution and membership criteria in September. These - readers will be amazed to discover - restricted membership to those within what the BNP regards as particular “ethnic groups” and those whose skin colour is white.

Uh huh.

Equality and Human Rights Commission won. The BNP amended its constitution in a way described by Judge Collins QC as - erm - 'cosmetic' when the case came back to court last Thursday. Even with the overtly 'whites only' clauses in the constitution removed, two clauses in the amended constitution were still held to be indirect discrimination. Membership of the BNP was frozen by the judge until these matters were - erm - resolved.

I headed this posting 'I really don't get it'. What is the point of this exercise by the Equality and Human Rights Commission? Now either one of two things will happen. Either the BNP will jump through an additional hoop for the sake of avoiding further trouble. If they do this to the satisfaction of the Equality and Human Rights Commission and/or judge, does this mean that in reality they are any different? Of course not - they will still be a racist and fascist party with a thin - if not to say transparent - veneer of pretended respectability. Or otherwise they refuse to comply and are made pseudo-martyrs. I repeat - what is the point of this exercise - on either outcome?

None whatsoever so far as I can see. Well the exercise has cost the BNP £100,00 in costs, which is pretty funny, but apart from that...

Perhaps if the Equality and Human Rights Commission fancy further pursuit of this hobby horse, they may care to take a look at the British People's Party , a body of overt neo-nazis who consider the BNP insufficiently nuts. Their website, quite apart from doing a tasteful line in merchandising featuring an Adolf Hitler Bust, not to mention a jolly SS Death's Head for a mere £4, has an overtly 'whites only' membership policy. 'I declare that I am of European descent...' seems pretty clear enough. The Equality and Human Rights Commission could get after them but what would be the point? Even if they jumped through the requisite hoops (I doubt they would - they would love it and would just stick two fingers up - all the way to jail I daresay) what would have changed in reality?

Fascism should be resisted. I still adhere to the now seen as old fashioned 'no platform' position. I would not debate with the BNP, share a platform with them or do anything that would give them legitimacy or normality as a political body (and yes I know they are a legal party - well sort of - before anyone says so) but this is not the way to do it. It is legalistic. prissy and totally misses the point.

Below is footage from Lewisham - 13th August 1977 - showing how to deal with that sort of person. The young rabbit was there.

You thought the squid thing was bad?

How horrid is that? The background is that My Little Tony Blair has produced a memoir (for a reported £5 million) called The Journey. Beau Bo D'Or (link to left) has produced a mock cover, mostly echoing the infamous pic of John Lennon and Yoko Ono in bed (which if anything was even worse).

Oh and with Hat Tip to Charon QC, a weird story relating to the recent two day civil servants' strike in which scabs - sorry civil servants working through the strike - were told to imitate answering machines when answering the phone. One civil servant working through the strike's opening gambit to the rabbit was 'you are?' This was in person at a certain court where some of the staff were on strike and not on the phone, I say by way of explanation. I don't quite know why but there is something about 'you are?' meaning 'what is your name?' that sets my teeth on edge. It just sounds so arsey. Fortunately the civil servant working through the strike did not get the business end of a picket's placard lodged in the fundament due to exemplary restraint on the part of the rabbit.

After all that unpleasantness, I see that I'm off to Tamworth tomorrow. I've blogged on the Tamworth pig before, Here are some Tamworth piglets. Endearing or what?

An advert for family lawyer's services...

Hat Tip to Android. I like the caption that appears at the beginning saying 'dramatization' (sic) in case some total dummies imagine they are watching a documentary. Mind you, given the audience for daytime TV... Inevitably enough, this ad has a series of links to other dreadful ads. Top this one for - erm - Butt Drugs. Naturally enough with free parking at the rear. Nuff said.

Venus de Milo...

After the disgraceful story concerning squidsex, the rabbit is pleased to present a story from New Jersey showing that at least some people are upholding standards as one would hope. There has apparently been a lot of snow in the United States recently. A Ms Gonzales and family used this state of affairs to sculpt a Venus de Milo snow sculpture in her front garden. Readers will be shocked to see that you can see all her naughty bits! Well, not her bum, which is presumably round the back where bums are usually located, but the other bits. Quite rightly, a neighbour complained to the police. The police, showing an appropriate sense of priorities, came hot footing around and gave Ms Gonzales the choice of covering the statue up or knocking it down. There is no doubt a Prevention of Rude Snow Scultures Act in New Jersey entitling the police to make this demand. As you will see Ms Gonzales covered the statue up with bra and sarong. Much better, I'm sure you'll all agree...

Here is the original. At least with bottom half covered up you will notice. The whole story reminds me of an early White Rabbit posting concerning another Venus, in that case by Cranach the Elder, not Ms Gonzales of New Jersey. Hat Tip to Mahal for drawing my attention to strange goings on in New Jersey.

Mostly squidsex...

This blog is of course at the cutting edge of law blogging so it is necessary to report a criminal case now making its way through the courts in Swansea, Someone called Andrew Dymond is being prosecuted for possessing a collection of pornographic images. So far so routine. Save for one of the charges. Possessing an image of a man who is and I quote: 'performing an act of intercourse with a dead animal, namely an octopus/squid which was grossly offensive, disgusting or otherwise of an obscene nature'.

Uh huh...

I'm not sure if the squid being dead makes it better or worse.

He is on bail with a condition not to access the internet so if you are reading this Andrew Dymond.

You.

Are.

Nicked.

After that barrage of bad taste, here is another Vladimir Kush image to soothe the furrowed brow. It is called Ripples on the Ocean.

Plus, having covered - as it were - a large collection of dreadful album covers, here is one of the great album covers of all time. Robert Crumb's artwork for Big Brother and the Holding Company and Cheap Thrills. Complete with Janis Joplin truly belting it out on Combination of the Two.

And as a bonus 'cos it's the weekend and 'cos it's quality here is Janis with Piece of My Heart

A message from gallant little Belgium....

....endorsed by the rabbit. For the benefit of non-European reader and the terminally inattentive within, the above is Nigel Farage. He is leader of the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) - described by Conservative leader 'Dave' Cameron in a rare moment of lucidity as a body consisting of 'fruitcakes, loonies and closet racists' - which about covers the field. The inoffensive Van Rompuy - an former Prime Minister of Belgium and now the President of the European Commission (and thus slightly more well-known than the average Belgian (not counting Georges Simenon who is dead and Tintin who never existed in the first place) has incurred Farage's wrath. One may wonder why as the worst that can be said against him is that he looks like a cross between a smurf and a benign version of Gollum. Apparently it is for being sort of head of a body Farage has an obsessive hatred of (a hatred that does not inhibit him from milking it for copious amounts of public funds) and he came out with a mindless barrage of personal abuse in the Europeasn Parliament, prefaced with 'I don't want to be rude' before being exactly that in spades.



Now Belgium bites back (see above). Serves the little scrote right.

Brett Lee and Pogues...

Where would the rabbit be without Australian cricketers to love to hate? In this context, Brett Lee's announcement of his retirement from Test cricket is to be regretted and to be noted as was Shane Warne's retirement from first class cricket appropriately sent off with goodbye you fat bastard. Lee is a skinny bastard and was seriously fast - see below 7th February for him decking poor Alex Tudor. Lee and Warne bowling against Hoggard and Giles in the Trent Bridge Test of 2005 with the game, and the Ashes, in the balance was some of the most compulsive cricket I have ever seen.

Goodbye you skinny bastard.

I read in one of the weekend papers that after a decade of boom and the Celtic Tiger, with the Irish economy in dire straits, Irish emigration has begun again bigtime, The Pogues and Thousands are Sailing came to mind. Here it is.



For good measure, here are the Pogues with Dirty Old Town. I saw them live way back in the early 90s. It was fun.

The Love Police Matrix Hacking Squad and rhubarb

Yes (see post title) that's what they are really called. With Hat Tip to Charon QC/Old Holborn, here we have the insolence of office and ignorance of law in perfect synchronicity. Enjoy. They don't like it up 'em...

Plus, the rabbit is delighted to reveal that forced rhubarb has been given official European Union status! Forced rhubab is grown by traditional (and labour intensive) methods in intense heat by candlelit sheds in the 'rhubarb triangle' of Leeds/Bradford/Wakefield. Yorkshire Forced Rhubarb has been granted 'protected designation of origin' status from the European Commission. This calls for a quick Hallelujah Chorus....

This puts forced rhubarb up there with Champagne, Parmesan cheese and - erm - Cornish clotted cream as well as a pile of other stuff. The EU - you gotta love it. What other body would come up with gems like that? From hence, the rabbit will fly the EU flag from the sidebar.