The above chapess is named Carolyn Bourne and she has unwittingly caused something of an internet sensation by sending an - erm - somewhat testy e-mail to her stepson Freddy's fiancee - the splendidly named Heidi Withers - about to behave if she wanted to get on with the Bourne family (an odd aspiration but never mind). The e-mail goes as follows...
'Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:
'When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat - unless you are positively allergic to something.
You do not remark that you do not have enough food.
You do not start before everyone else.
You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.
When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early - you fall in line with house norms.
You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.
You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why. No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.
I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)
If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes'.
Sensible stuff, I am sure all will agree. Especially the last three paragraphs. I'm sure in particular all will agree that getting married in a castle one does not own is indeed the height of vulgarity. Speaking personally, I've never done it and never will. The rest of the family have all weighed in - the natural mother of Freddy (who looks a bit of a muppet), Heidi's dad (who also looks a bit of a muppet) and no doubt many others. The rabbit suspects that this is a family that richly deserve each other.
On a completely different topic, below is a pic from the rabbit I-phone of a memorial on the wall of All Saints' Church Huntingdon - a town the rabbit visited for the first time ever today - it has an outpost of Peterborough Crown Court. It is a memorial to a former bankrupt named Thomas Jetherell who won much acclaim for paying back his creditors after discharge from bankruptcy and thus when under no obligation to do so. The rabbit apologises for the pic being side on but there is nothing he can do about it. Lie on your sides or something...
The rabbit also went to see French thriller Point Blank last night - no time for a rabbit review. Go see - it commands the attention. The word 'relentless' has been used a lot to describe the pace of the action and if you like being biffed in the face with sudden full on violence, this is the film for you. Say what you will about the French but they (a) have the right attitude to aristocrats (b) produce good wine and (c) produce good films. The rabbit also - for the first time in his lfe - went to see a musical this week. Not his idea but he actually quite enjoyed it - Betty Blue Eyes as you ask. And a good weekend to all the rabbit's readers.