Monday, 31 January 2011

Meanwhile in a Dutch cell...


More cutting edge legal blogging natch...

A Dutch prisoner giant has gone to court over the size of his single cell, arguing that it is inhumanely small. The prisoner, 2.07m tall (6ft 9in) and 230kg (36st - multiply by 14 for pounds American readers!), says he cannot properly sleep or use the toilet. Prison officials have tried to relieve his discomfort by adding a a 2.15m plank and an extra mattress to his bed. While the plank and extra mattress supplied by the prison authorities were meant to make him more comfortable, he now has to 'sleep with one eye open in case he falls out of bed' explained his lawyer, one Mr Martens.

It is emphasised by his lawyer that the prisoner is a natural giant and not obese. The rabbit is slightly troubled by this one. Even taking on board (so to speak) that he is 6 ft 9 ins, erm, 36 stones??? He is doing 2 years for fraud as you ask. He is not arguing that he shouldn't finish his sentence, but that he should finish it somewhere else. To take a shower, he must first wedge himself into the cubicle, then crouch down under the head. So tiny and low is his toilet, he complains, that - erm - visits must be kept to the absolute minimum. Mr Martens, who has argued before a court at The Hague that the prisoner - known as - Angelo McD has had his European Convention rights breached (cue Daily Mail type howls of rage) by his conditions of detention. there will be a ruling in February and the rabbit will be playing close attention but is saying nuffin save that overweight Dutchmen put him in mind of the rather wonderful Dutch pancakes - for the unitiated called poffertjes (see below). Yums!

12 comments:

savannah said...

504-507 pounds? and 6'9" that's a natural giant and NOT a morbidly obese man? i am speechless, so i'll just have to wait for your updates on this case. xoxoxo

Gabriella Moonlight said...

Very interesting post...

sybil law said...

Prison is supposed to be comfortable?

504lbs. is HUGE.

JoJo said...

Man alive that's a big dude. But those pancakes look nummy. How are they served? With butter and syrup like here?

word verif: ancydog

Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

As a fellow giant, that dude is fat, I'm 6ft 6in and I weigh in at just under 16 stone.

He's a fat liar, giving genuine giants a bad name.

white rabbit said...

Savvy - I helpfully did a BMI online tset for our man (okay, I should get out more...) He comes ina t BMI of 54 - anything over, erm, 30 is obese...

Gabriella - Thank you and welcome to my humble blog.

Sybil - erm... It's not small.

JoJo - Mostly with powdered sugar and butter but jam, syrup or even alcohol is okay :D

DHG - 6'6"! I never knew that. Mind you, I've only seen you in a cider advert :) Unfair on genuine giants indeed!

Petit fleur said...

Poor guy... can't even get a decent sized pancake...

Seriously though, that does sound awful.
Peace

thedailyg said...

Unrelated but thought would interest you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_w_x_mwxPU&feature=related

Law Minx said...

My Dear Bunny,

How would this gentleman fare in an Italian cell, which, in the case of those banged up for membership of the causa nostra, are purposefully kept in bare and teeny TINY cells until they are willing to cough up info on the organisation, wherein they are rewarded ( if thats the term) with a bigger cell, better food and a slightly better overall standard of living ( if imprisonment can be called living)?!

Either way, its all to the bad, I think. Surely his complaint must be rooted in article 3 ECHR.

Do those pancakes contain the wild version of Sativex, by any chance!?

Kat @ How To Litter Train Rabbits said...

And multiply for Canadian readers too! ;)

I say they make a deal with him. He loses weight, he gets a new bed.

Laci the Chinese Crested said...

Gung He Fat Choy!

It's the Year of the Rabbit!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

The Dutch pancakes make me hungry. That's the extent of my wisdom for the damn day.

Love,

SB