The law I do is concerned with blood splatter patterns, bodily fluids and firearms residues as opposed to the more esoteric (and lucrative) commercial stuff. I am also a published novelist ('twentytwelve' published by Adonis and Abbey in 2006) which you should all order immediately in support of my desperate attempt to get its amazon.co.uk rating below half a million!
Okay people, time for a silly season story! Tesco are to start selling a range of extra large condoms following 'overwhelming customer demand'. It turns out that the average condom is 205 mm long. In imperial terms this amounts to 8.0708661417 inches in case anyone was wondering. The extra large condoms are 10 mm longer and 1 mm erm - wider. Nicola Evans, healthcare buyer for the retailer, said: "These new condoms are designed to allow larger men more comfort than ever before".
Which is nice.
"In the last year there have been more than 200 calls from customers requesting the availability of an extra large condom" added Ms Evans, warming to her theme.
Quite so.
I said I wouldn't comment but can't resist saying 1 mm wider hardly helps, does it? £9.53 for a packet of 12 should you be wondering.
Fat tip (snuck) to Siberian Light for Stalin condom pic -
http://www.siberianlight.net/
Plus some helpful stuff on how to wash your car (complete with rude French word)
As a Midwife who determined to prevent the accidental creation of life almost as much as safely seeing it into the world, the provision of condoms of all colours textures varieties and flavours ( yes, even ones that glowed in the DARK) to the bonking masses was practically my raison d'etre. I therefore commend you to the Durex Website where, for the truly MODEST individuals among us Teeshirts bearing the legend 'XXXXXXL LARGE' are available ( among many OTHER fun treats) thereby providing a matching accessory to the Tescos new improved and expanded range......!!
3 comments:
Well you just knew that was gonna be a bad idea.
The car wash...not the condoms.
My Dear Bunny,
As a Midwife who determined to prevent the accidental creation of life almost as much as safely seeing it into the world, the provision of condoms of all colours textures varieties and flavours ( yes, even ones that glowed in the DARK) to the bonking masses was practically my raison d'etre. I therefore commend you to the Durex Website where, for the truly MODEST individuals among us Teeshirts bearing the legend 'XXXXXXL LARGE' are available ( among many OTHER fun treats) thereby providing a matching accessory to the Tescos new improved and expanded range......!!
( word captcha: wasup !!!!)
Another excellent post...why do the French do these things?
This may explain their basic problem at Trafalgar....
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