It has been drawn to my attention that the late Spanish fascist dictator Francisco Franco had more in common with Adolf Hitler than had previously been known. Or did he? It turns out that Franco was wounded in the lower abdomen at El Biutz, near Ceuta, Morocco, in June 1916. No less reputable a source as the BBC pronounces 'Biographers have long speculated this affected the reproductive organs of the dictator'. They have? The phrase 'should get out more' springs to mind'. Now one Dr Ana Puigvert, the grand-daughter of Franco's urologist, has spilled the beans (as it were) to an unsuspecting world. "Franco was monorchid - he had only one testicle," she said. Monorchid. There's a weird word. Why are bollocks named after a family of flowers? I think we should be told...
Hitler, it was frequently asserted, not least in song, only had one ball. But is this actually true? The evidence seems a little tenuous. A Doctor Johan Jambor who treated Hitler during the Battle of the Somme in 1916 told his priest that Hitler had been injured in the abdomen and lost a testicle. He said the first question Hitler had asked him was: "Will I be able to have children?".
Nope. Unlike Franco who had a daughter.
Oh and the Soviet autopsy on what was left of Hitler after the deep fry job on his mortal remains announced that our man was - erm - monorchid too. Whether anything put about by the Stalinists of that era is to be believed is another matter...
So what is it about fascists and missing testicles? Does the creepy Nick Griffin have anything to tell us?
At least the stories of the time kept the British army occupied as they marched along singing (to the tune of Colonel Bogey)..
Hitler has only got one ball
Goering has two though very small
Himmler is very similar
And poor old Goebbels has no balls at all
Or assorted variants...
On a completely different topic, Minx kindly asks about my welfare. I am pleased to say that I am now completely off crutches (day 3) and hope and expect a full recovery.
Now all together...
