Thursday, 21 May 2009

fascism and monotesticularity


It has been drawn to my attention that the late Spanish fascist dictator Francisco Franco had more in common with Adolf Hitler than had previously been known. Or did he? It turns out that Franco was wounded in the lower abdomen at El Biutz, near Ceuta, Morocco, in June 1916. No less reputable a source as the BBC pronounces 'Biographers have long speculated this affected the reproductive organs of the dictator'. They have? The phrase 'should get out more' springs to mind'. Now one Dr Ana Puigvert, the grand-daughter of Franco's urologist, has spilled the beans (as it were) to an unsuspecting world. "Franco was monorchid - he had only one testicle," she said. Monorchid. There's a weird word. Why are bollocks named after a family of flowers? I think we should be told...
Hitler, it was frequently asserted, not least in song, only had one ball. But is this actually true? The evidence seems a little tenuous. A Doctor Johan Jambor who treated Hitler during the Battle of the Somme in 1916 told his priest that Hitler had been injured in the abdomen and lost a testicle. He said the first question Hitler had asked him was: "Will I be able to have children?".
Nope. Unlike Franco who had a daughter.
Oh and the Soviet autopsy on what was left of Hitler after the deep fry job on his mortal remains announced that our man was - erm - monorchid too. Whether anything put about by the Stalinists of that era is to be believed is another matter...

So what is it about fascists and missing testicles? Does the creepy Nick Griffin have anything to tell us?

At least the stories of the time kept the British army occupied as they marched along singing (to the tune of Colonel Bogey)..

Hitler has only got one ball
Goering has two though very small
Himmler is very similar
And poor old Goebbels has no balls at all

Or assorted variants...

On a completely different topic, Minx kindly asks about my welfare. I am pleased to say that I am now completely off crutches (day 3) and hope and expect a full recovery.

Now all together...





13 comments:

simply wondered said...

more pertinent (or not depending on how you feel) they all had a y chromosone. not so many of yer xx fascists. another reason they might be better suited to rule the planet.

(oooh: verification is the very fridayish 'pubto')

Law Minx said...

TBH, I am actually surprised that Fascist Dictators admit to having any goolies at ALL....!
Glad to see that you are fully Mended, Rabbit!! :)

PS: Your word captcha thing is most definately in a VERY strange mood: mine is " C*ntsi*!!!!!

simply wondered said...

what was replaced by the second asterisk, and why oh minx of randomness? is there a naughty word you can make with any letter???

Law Minx said...

Ah, Dear Zen, I wish I could say that the second asterisk was part of an entirely DELIBERATE omission of a particular letter of the alphabet leading to a whole new term of abuse, but alas, there wasn't.
It's a typo.....!!!

white rabbit said...

Dear Mr Rabbit,

I would like to complain about everything - sorry about that young lady is using shocking language in your blog, thinly disguised by asterisks. In my day that sort of thing was not tolerated one little bit and would result in energetic chastisement for the malefactor (which never did any harm needless to say). TIME YOU ALL SHAPED UP!

Eunice J Toadthrottler (Mrs)

Tunbridge Wells

M said...

Dear Rabbit, would you be so kind to inquire if Ms Eunice Thoadthrottler has a sister called Evadne who lives up Brum way?
The last name does escape me at the moment but she got a white curly hairdo...

white rabbit said...

Evadne lives just off Cannock Chase. I will ask her next time she - um - bumps into me but may not get an answer. Evadne does a line in insolent stares. As for Eunice - you would be shocked to know what goes on in Tunbridge Wells despite that town's reputation for propriety. Just don't go looking for toothbrushes ;)

M said...

She might be going around to look for them for a loooooong time. That is what one gets if one ventures out of London!!!!
Very peculiar opening times . . .and a distinct lack of tooth brushes.
BE PREPARED!

Law Minx said...

My Dear Mrs Toadthrottler,

Whilst I would apologise for my the thinly veiled term of abuse that has plainly caused you not inconsiderable offence , I would point out that said term was, in fact, thrown up by Bloggers Word Capture device, a matter I felt I ought to bring to the attention of Mr Rabbit, and, indeed, the Blogging Ether at large, given that said device is possessed of profound mental health issues.

In the alternative it might just be that said device is possessed and without mental health issues.

Sincererly Yours,

Minx the Entirely Modest.

simply wondered said...

entirely off-topic rabbit - is it you who is responsible for the excellent crime line? if so, my admiration (again) and thanks - what a great resource.

white rabbit said...

SW" - I get this regularly. Nah - he's the other one.

simply wondered said...

if he's the other one, i don't think he should be masquerading as you, even if his website is good.
people should be informed...
(i for one should be better informed)

DaisyDeadhead said...

Glad to hear you are doing well...I broke my leg last autumn, you might remember, and its no fun at all.