Wednesday, 26 September 2012
Return of Knob of the Week
This is essentially for overseas readers as there cannot be a UK based reader who is unaware of Andrew 'Thrasher' Mitchell MP, government chief whip and pottymouther in chief. Thrasher as he is commonly known has caused a huge stir while riding his bicycle around Downing Street, presumably after conducting some very important government business. Now a rabbit confession - everyone should hold at least one unlikely - politically incorrect even - view to avoid being boring and predictable. The rabbit's is a deeply rooted aversion to cyclists as rehearsed here in an early White Rabbit posting.
Thrasher has done nothing to mitigate the rabbit aversion. Thrasher pitched up at the gates at the end of Downing Street complete with bike and demanded that armed police guarding the gates open them to let him through. The police told him to go through the side gate.
Does Thrasher do anything of the sort? Nope. He goes into one. There is a dispute as to what happened next but it is common ground that Thrasher started swearing. A police report seen by the Sun 'newspaper' has Thrasher saying to the startled constabulary 'Best you learn your fucking place. You don't run this fucking government. You're fucking plebs' The Sun also reported a witness as saying that Mitchell had described police as 'morons'.
Mitchell admits saying 'fucking' but says he was using the word 'adjectivally' (strictly it's a gerund) and wasn't directing it at police.
Of course not.
The really bad four letter word in the context is pleb.The newspaper also reported a witness as saying that Mitchell had described police as "morons".The last thing the Conservative government wants is the odour of social contempt and Flashman like behaviour attached to it to grow stronger and Thrashman is - among other things, not all of them printable - a former public schoolboy and a millionaire. Directing social contempt at the police is particularly - to use an overworked word - toxic.
Thrashman denies having said 'plebs'. Of course everyone believes him. Not. Now if he didn't say the 'p' word then the police have dishonestly invented an allegation in their official report. This wouldn't be the first time but doing so in relation to a government bigwig is a bold move by the constabulary. Verballing a nobody in say Tottenham is one thing but doing the same to the government chief whip is another. No doubt 'Dave' Cameron - a prime minister - totally wishes the topic would go away.
But it won't. The story runs and even expands into further examples of Thrashman's odiousness - follow the link and read a series of goodies including Thrashman as wasp murderer.
Accordingly, it is the rabbit's pleasure to revive a venerable tradition and nominate Andrew Mitchell as Knob of the Week.
Mind you, there seems to be a positive outbreak of borderline psychotic behaviour by Conservative politicians. The above mound of blubber is named Brian Coleman - a local government politician of no distinction whatsoever. He was London Assembly member between 2000 and 2012 when he mercifully lost his seat. It is reported that his re-election in 2008 was followed by a bizarre acceptance speech at the count in which he announced that 'the king of bling is back' before storming out, accompanied by his mother. Ermmm ... His period at the Greater London Assembly was mostly 'distinguished' by huge expenses claims for taxis (he was the only GLA member to refuse to publish their expenses voluntarily). He is presently in trouble for refusing to apologise to a constituent he called a Blackshirt. Other previous Coleman gems have been calling two people 'old hags' at a council meeting and attacking a cafe owner for photographing him parking in a loading bay.
There has been in the entirety of recorded history been only one award of Deputy Knob of the Week. Mr Coleman ... Consider yourself the second.