The image is from the consistently excellent Beau Bo D'Or (link to left). As I have sworn never to vote Labour again while well-known war criminal Tony B. Liar lives and breathes, I'm not sure why I'm doing this but here goes. This is a memo explaining to Labour MPs what to do. I'll type slowly as some of them are not the brightest...
1. Dump Brown. Drag him kicking and screaming out of No 10 leaving ten smouldering streaks of fingernail indentation in the carpet. The guy is box office poison. End of. Whereupon the Tories and their preppy twerp of a leader will start shouting for an election because they think (probably quite rightly) they would win it. Tell them to fuck off.
2. Elect whatever new leader is best bet for at least limiting the damage so that the next election is a defeat as opposed to a 1931 type slaughter (apparently Johnson, he typed with a shrug).
3. New leader announces a flat out programme of constitutional reform featuring:
- Electoral Reform - ideally STV but at least Alternative Vote+
- Four year fixed term Parliaments
- Right of recall for errant MPs with some safeguards against abuse of recall powers
- Open primaries for major party candidates.
4. Once legislation is in place a referendum on the four points set out above.
5. If referendum votes in favour, election under proportional representation system as soon as possible.
This may actually save a lot of Labour MP bacon but is there any chance they will do this or anything like it? Nope - cos they are thick, tribalist and have a death wish. We will be governed by a preppy twerp who thinks his wife is unconventional because she went to a day school. Labour deserves this but the people they are supposed to represent do not.
On a more cheerful note, I see Australia got knocked out of the World Twenty/20 having lost both games...
HA! HA! HA!
Polls for the most erotic song ever are usually won by Some Velvet Morning and I'm not arguing. Embedding on the original Lee Hazlewood/Nancy Sinatra version has been disabled by request of some arse so here is the Primal Scream version featuring - um - Kate Moss. I was amused by the story that CBS who issued the original then had censors, people whose job it was to spot the mucky bits and cut them out. Lee Hazlewood managed to persuade the CBS censors that the lines...
Some velvet morning when I'm straight/
I'm gonna open up your gate.
Were about the nice little boy holding open the garden gate for the nice little girl. Nice one Lee...