Sunday, 11 May 2008

Introducing Lisa...




This is Lisa, the National Rail Enquiries InfoBot. Lisa is of course virtual and as such has - um - limitations. A new sport of Lisa Baiting has been invented by various unruly fellows. My turn...



Lisa says: Welcome to National Rail Enquiries. My name is Lisa. How can I help you?

WR: Yo Lisa! My postillion has been struck by lightning.

Lisa: The weather is an interesting topic, but one that I cannot comment on myself. I can, however, provide a link to how to find out if weather will affect services.

Um - righty. She's interested in the weather. Better try another tack...

WR: Can I take a camel train to Nether Wallop?

Lisa: If you want, I can ask you a few questions to help you find train times and fares for your journey.Say 'Yes' if you want my help, or say 'No' and I'll load the Journey Planner which will let you

WR: Yes

Lisa: OK... Where are you travelling to?

WR: Nether Wallop like I said - by camel.

Lisa: Nether Wallop by camel is not in my list of stations.

Well there's a bummer, let's try another tack...

WR: My pet boa constrictor Gertrude would like a forward facing seat

Lisa: I think you may be asking about seat reservations. I hope the page that I am loading now about seat reservations has the information you need.

WR: Oh goody - so there's no problem with venomous snakes on your trains?

Lisa: It sounds like you're asking me about delays or cancellations.

Ermmmm, no.... Not sure Lisa is the brightest pin in the cushion...

WR: My pet snake Lisa. Do keep up!

Lisa: I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean. Could you please rephrase it for me?

Bleedin' Ada - how much clearer could I be? I wonder how Lisa's love life is...

WR: I'm taken but some of my mates could do with a hot date. Are you available?

Lisa: Sorry ... I can only answer questions with a single sentence. Please could you try asking again, but with a single sentence this time.
Lisa is seriously dim...

WR: I said are you available for a hot date with one of my mates?

Lisa: I'm far too busy to do the dating thing ... I would much rather travel by trains with my girly friends...

At this point the rabbit corpsed and gave up on the subject...

If you want to join in the gentle art of Lisa Baiting here is the link...




Hat Tip to Geeklawyer via Charon QC


9 comments:

Law Minx said...

Have you by any chance visited Lisa's Older Sister Mo? She can be found at the Motability website, but shes not half so much fun to talk to as Lisa, I'm afraid....

http://motability.creativevirtual.com/MotaCustomer/bot.htm?uid=1210600061044&StartContext=FAQ

Daisy said...

Ever bait God Himself? You're just the type! :P

Talk to God:

Talk to God

lotus07 said...

Lisa is pretty boring....you can do better....lets redouble our efforts.

elizabeth said...

OOOH! New and uncharted waters! Very exciting.

I sometimes answer the automated banking voice with vile words... but am always afraid I'll get caught. Isn't that silly?

B.E. Earl said...

Is it the ultimate form of narcissism to bait a computer to make oneself feel superior?

Nah! I'm gonna give it a go tonight! ;)

TAJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TAJ said...

Sounds like better advice than I recently received from the charmingly named cashier number 9at Birmingham New Street station.

white rabbit said...

Daisy - I had an exchange with God. I used my best cross-examination techniques but couldn't pin him down. A very slippery character, somewhat disappointing really!

taj - are you by any chance related to the taj mahal? and as for Birmingham New Street the less said the better.

Earl - try playing chess with a computer. A sure fire narcissism cure.

white rabbit said...

minx/lotus/elizabeth - Hi! :D so you don't feel left out. I must respond to comments more, I decided.